Hello,
The perseverance hotel is my “Joint” simply because there are a heck of allot of boys,
(Note, observant reader, that i DON’T say men. I am not sure when it happens but unlike girls who seem to mature slowly with time, a boy is either mature or a testosterone fueled idiot with too much confidence and usually pumped with alcohol.)
The positive attributes about this are - they are my age, like me are up for a “hook up” or “a session” or whatever you want to call it and you can take what nameless lips you can get and you never have to talk to them - this however means a few things
a)You don’t know what your going to get!! a friend of mine recently described her experience as if
“he was trying to suck my tongue out of my mouth”
- Though i think it is a bit harsh to say “ALL boys MUST be GREAT kissers” i don’t think it is so much to ask that you don’t feel like your being mouth raped.
b)It’s totally akws if you see them again. This, i think, can be split into a few categories depending on the scenario, but:
- you may or may not have given them your number and you never answered their call,
- like me, may have given the “reject number”
- don’t remember their name,
- don’t remember making out with them,
- don’t WANT to remember making out with them ect ect
So i did two VERY sad things the other day (Friday to be exact):
I had a horrible “hook up” - the man shall hence forth be named “Saliva man” - there was nothing wrong with him...... a little short.......AMAZING ARMS (you know the ones that stretch the arm fabric of a t-shirt just a little)
Anywho, Saliva man was a good dancer, he was doing the “awkward hand on my hip”
kind-o-thing and after this lead up we kissed and
HE DUMPED a LITER of saliva in my mouth... i literally had to walk to the toilet and
SPIT. IT. OUT.
ew.
Saliva man tried to dance with me a little more after that and i think (in my semi inebriated state) i told him i was gay.......it wasn’t the most convincing line i have ever come out with (considering i had just kissed him and all) but it did the job.
I watched him for the rest of the night though (mainly observing his friend who, had man boobs the size of which would make even Dolly Parton's "girls" jealous) I watched girls lock lips with Saliva man and LOVE IT!!
I heard one girl say loudly to her friend
"O. M. G. he has an AMAZING tongue" - maybe i should add that this girl, not only had the skin that resembled an Oompa Loompa but she had fake eyelashes with tiny crystals at the end and nails with little pictures on them (It dosn't have bearing on anything i just thought you should know)
Anyway, this happened a few times (Saliva boy got around) and every girl came away looking impressed and all i could think was
WHAT THE FUNK??
Is this OK this TONGUE / SALVA BUSINESS?
I was mentally scared by this kiss and these other girls looking like they had just had the "session" of their lives.
Have i missed something, honestly?
Secondly due to the experience, I bought a bottle of Listerine (you know those 800ml mothers).
Do you ever have those moments (like mine with Saliva man) when you realise your mouth is WET and it is not WET because of your OWN saliva, more often than not it is wet with someone ESLES salvia?
There is a sudden AWARENESS
and TASTE of
SOMEONE ESLSES saliva
in YOUR MOUTH
and you just want to vomit.
Added to this, there is a very sick reoccurring thought that I read once on the back of a toilet door, it said:
“the saliva in your mouth stays there for two weeks, so when you kiss someone, you are kissing every person they have kissed in the last two weeks”
.gross.
Anyone else have a horrible hook up story that ended up improving there sense of personal hygiene they would like to share please do alternatively tell me if you are into "The Tongue"
peace out
Bridie
XOXOX
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